Thank Outside the Box: Transforming Family Recovery with “Impartial Gratitude”

The holiday season is upon us. While the world tells us to be joyous and thankful, for families navigating addiction and recovery, the holidays can often feel more like a minefield than a celebration. When you are in survival mode, a standard gratitude list can sometimes feel impossible - or even inauthentic.

Inside the Serenity Circle, we gathered for a special "Thank Outside the Box" workshop featuring writer and recovery advocate Mackenzie Snyderman. Mackenzie shared a transformational tool called "Impartial Gratitude," a practice that goes far beyond simply listing what makes you happy. If you are looking for peace, clarity, and a way to turn adversity into a triumph, this practice is for you.

The Origins of Impartial Gratitude

Mackenzie Snyderman developed her version of this practice nearly a decade ago during a "trifecta" of personal crises: navigating early sobriety, a terrifying custody battle, and an eating disorder. Desperate for peace and unable to find it through traditional means, she discovered a book by Melody Beattie (author of Codependent No More) titled Make Miracles in 40 Days.

Beattie’s concept of a "Miracle Project" became the foundation for Mackenzie’s practice. Over time, Mackenzie adapted it, adding her own "cherry on top" to turn it into a powerful tool for manifestation and emotional regulation.

How to Create an Impartial Gratitude List

This practice takes about 10 minutes, but writing it down has a potency that doing it in your head does not. Here is Mackenzie’s three-layer approach:

1. The DUF (Doubts, Uncertainties, Fears)

The first step may seem strange, but it’s also the most vital. You begin by writing, "I am grateful for..." followed by the things in your life that’s causing the most pain. This includes your fears, resentments, uncomfortable emotions, and the circumstances you are trying to resist.

Why it works: When you write down that you are grateful for a problem, it loses its power over you. Flipping the script in this way allows you to move from being a victim of your circumstances to see them as opportunities. As Mackenzie notes, "You can't know what you want until you know what you don't want." Sometimes our struggles are our greatest teachers.

2. Genuine Appreciation

Once you have purged the negativity and "vented" onto the page, you move to the second layer: the things you genuinely appreciate. List evidence of the love, support, abundance, and progress in your life.

Why it works: When we are in survival mode, we often miss the support that is right in front of us. This step shifts your frequency into a mode of receptivity, opening you up to receive more peace.

3. Manifestation

This is the unique spin Mackenzie added to Melody Beattie’s original work. In this final section, you write down that you are grateful for the things you wish to experience - but you write them as if they have already happened.

Whether it is a new home, a healed relationship, or a specific feeling of peace, do not water down your desires. Writing them in the past tense helps to seed them into reality. Mackenzie credits this specific layer with turning her into a "manifestation master," helping her navigate major life moves and personal growth.

4. Sharing Your List

To take this practice to the "next level," Mackenzie suggests sharing your list with a trusted friend or partner. However, there is one strict ground rule: No unsolicited advice.

When you share your list, the other person is there to witness you, not to fix you. There should be no commentary and no advice-giving. This protects your dignity and creates a safe space for your intuition to surface.

A Season of Healing

During the workshop, Mackenzie also led the group through a beautiful visualization of a "Gratitude Tree" in a greenhouse, where participants tied ribbons representing their struggles, their joys, and their wishes onto the branches, transforming them all into love.

Gratitude doesn't have to be perfect. It can include the messy, the hard, and the hopeful.

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About Mackenzie Snyderman

Mackenzie Snyderman is a writer, recovery advocate, and contributing teacher to the Serenity Circle. She is passionate about helping others find clarity and peace through writing and mindfulness. Visit her at www.kenziesdesk.com for more resources and her "Courage to Change Recovery Journal."

About The Serenity Circle

The Serenity Circle is an online self-care community for families impacted by a loved one's addiction. We believe that by getting families - healthy in mind, body, and spirit - they can become a strong force for their loved one’s recovery. Join our community today for support groups, yoga, meditation, and workshops like this one. Let us be your lifeline. Visit: serenitycircle.co